『 Delivery 』
by Meyri
Summary: Team JNPR is on a mission to deliver packages, when Nora finds a letter addressed to Roman Torchwick. Determined to fulfill her duties as a postwoman, she drags her team and Professor Port on a ridiculous chase after the suave criminal. Will Roman stay as elusive as ever? Will Team JNPR outwit the criminal mastermind? What secrets does the letter hold? Find out on this wild ride!
1. Tenacity

**『 Delivery 』**

**Chapter 1: Tenacity.**

「 ... As I have said, today we stand together, united. But this bond cannot exist without effort; which is why today, while the rest of the world celebrates peace, huntsmen and huntresses will work to uphold it. 」

Ren was honestly not very fond of pancakes. Their fluffy consistency and the sickening sweetness of the syrup made him feel bloated after only a few bites. However, Ren has also never complained or even voiced his opinion. _Nora does like them so much._

"I'm so sorry, guys!", gasped Nora.

_I can't believe she's still eating while running._

「 As first year students, you will be tasked with shadowing a professional huntsman or huntress on a mission. Some of you may be taken out of the kingdom for several days. Others may work within the walls for the rest of the week. 」

This morning, Team JNPR awoke to Nora in an apron, in the process of shovelling four huge piles of pancakes onto their plates.

"SURPRISE! Today is the big day everyone! Our very first outside mission!"

_Nora must have put our alarm clocks off again._ Ren smiled as he sat down at the table. The pancakes were brightly colored, yellow for Jaune, red for Pyrrha, pink for Nora and green for him. _Wait, how did she get this table into our dorm room without me noticing?_

「 But no matter which path you choose, remember to be safe, remember your training, 」

Jaune stumbled and stopped dead in his tracks. "Wait up, guys. I can't run after eating all... _that_."

_He looks so silly with his tongue all yellow._ Ren ate so much food coloring this morning that he felt like he dyed a little inside. He sighed as he stared at the school building. They were already twenty minutes late. _Most of the fun missions will be gone by now._

His thoughts were interrupted by Pyrrha. "Ren stop daydreaming! Come on, let's go everyone!"

「 ...and remember to do your very best. 」

As they approached the wooden gate, Professor Ozpin was already leaving. "I see you guys missed out on my _wonderful_ speech."

"We're so terribly sorry." Pyrrha even bowed her head a little. After all, this _was_ her first time being late to class.

Ozpin chuckled: "Don't you worry, dear. This ceremony is all but a formality. Just make sure to be punctual for your mission. After all, your huntsman may not be as forgiving as I am."

Jaune immediately made a beeline for the last floating display that was not greyed out. "Are you kidding me? **Delivery?** Everyone else gets to kill monsters and we have to run errands?"

Ren frowned slightly. Jaune seems a little bit too eager to stab Grimm ever since he won his first few sparring fights in Professor Goodwitchs class. Pyrrhas gleeful excitement certainly did not help easing the team leaders newfound ego. _Let's hope this mission is as uneventful as Jaune makes it out to be._

* * *

><p>A familiar face and a familiar mustache. "Ah, splendid!"<p>

Ren smiled at the thought of accompanying Professor Peter Port. He seems like a dependable person, and if even half of his tales are true, Port can definitely hold his own in combat. If all of his stories are true, that means he can beat giant Ursas into submission with his bear hands. _I am probably the only one that likes those stories. _Even if they sound improbable, Ren can hear the sincerity and passion in the old Huntsman.

"Our dandy little group here will be delivering packages of _extreme_ importance to _highly_ confidential destinations. You four chaps will see to the safe delivery of those packages. Protect them with your lives, for the loss of even one of those will lead to _dire_ consequences."

"At least he's _trying_ to make it sound cool, huh." Jaune whispered.

"A true Huntsman will always fulfill his duty regardless of what it is, Mister Arc!", Port bellowed. "Without communication peace and unity would be lost, and the most important of letters are left to the most reliable of people to deliver: Huntsmen and Huntresses!"

The professor shouldered his legendary Blunderbaxe and stepped closer to Team JNPR. "Do you think Ozpin would entrust simple letters and items to me _personally_? You are ill-advised to underestimate the _danger_ we might potentially face. We depart at sunrise tomorrow. STAY VIGILANT! Dismissed."

* * *

><p>"What do you guys think that was about?" asked Pyrrha.<p>

"Looks like we will be going to dangerous areas after all." Jaune replied.

Ren resumed his new favorite pastime: Observing his teammates. Ever since Pyrrha started training their leader, watching the drama unfold was better than any movie. The day after the dance party, Pyrrha looked so _defeated_ when Jaune went back to treating her like nothing happened. _Interesting._

Jaune was in a noticeably better mood since the the Professor implied dangers and thrills ahead of them. Pyrrha seemed... confident. _I guess there is very little that can shake her resolve, apart from Jaune I guess._ Nora however...

"Did you see those packages? There were big red stamps on them! Are they like mystery boxes? What do you think we're delivering? Maybe it's some kind of super weapon or even WAIT. What if it's a LETTERBOMB?"

"Nora."

_Unreadable._ Despite being her friend throughout most of his life, Ren can't seem to get a grasp on the energetic girl. Playing card games with Nora was suffering and delight at the same time. Nora was the only person where Ren could never be sure about anything. He couldn't even tell if her personality was overly complex or if he was overthinking and overanalyzing her. However, all of that makes her immense _fun_ to be around.

* * *

><p>Nora was nearly bursting with excitement. "hurryuphurryuphurryup-"<p>

"Quiet!" It was astounding how much presence Pyrrha could show while whispering and sneaking. "It was your idea to sneak a peek at the letters, but we have to go about this carefully."

Professor Port's famous locker in the teacher's room was always unlocked. He believed in trust between Professors and soon-to-be Huntsmen and Huntresses and claimed to have no secrets to hide. After Cardin sneaked into the office at night to retroactively _improve_ his test, the word of Port's honesty with his documents and his impeccable memory of his quizzes spread like wildfire through Beacon. _How very... quaint._

Ren pulled out the box containing the packages, careful not to touch any other item in the locker. Leaving any traces here would be unwise. _I can't believe we agreed to do this. What a stubborn girl._

He placed the container on the table and removed the lid, presenting Team JNPR with five packages with varying size. The smallest one was a simple letter in a light pink colored envelope. It was covered with scarlet roses and hearts. Clearly someone has put a lot of work into this.

Jaune raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?"

"letmeseeit-"

"This looks rather private to me", said Pyrrha, blushing brightly.

"outofthewa-"

Jaune grinned. "Well then, let's take a look at the other pa-"

"OOOHH It's pink! That's my favorite color! Do you guys think this is a love letter? Did Ozpin give a love letter to Professor Port? Maybe it's for Glynda - are they together? I mean, _together_ together?" Nora giggled as she forced Jaune and Pyrrha aside and took a closer look at it.

"Roman Torchwick? I didn't know he swings that way." she exclaimed, slightly disappointed.

"WHAT?" The rest of the team stared at Nora in disbelief.

"Aww you guys were the _last_ people I'd have expected to discriminate against ga- HEY!" Nora glared angrily in response to Jaune's failed attempt at swiping the letter. She slowly stepped away towards the open door.

"Nora, we have to take a look at that letter! That could be, like, a secret message of sorts!"

"NOO, you can't just read other people's letters! Ozpin is going to be so mad when he finds out! This is _personal_!"

Ren leaned back in a chair and cursed himself for not bringing any popcorn. Pyrrha regained her composure rather quickly after the initial shock.

Laughing openly, she said: "Nora, I don't really think Ozpin wrote that letter."

"But there's nothing on here except Roman Torchwick. No sender, no addresses."

"That's why we have to open that letter! Come on, Nora!" The team's leader became more frustrated every second this conversation dragged on. The argument was heating up - stealth and subtlety were gone.

"Would you want other people to read your love letters to Weiss?"

"No of cour- that's beside the point! That's not a love letter you're holding!"

"THERE ARE PINK HEARTIES ON IT!"

"That must be one of his tricks, a red herri-"

"What was that about love letters to Weiss, Jaune?"

"What? No! That was a long time ago, okay? This is not the time for this!"

"I'm going to deliver this letter, if you like it or not!"

"Why do you have to be so _stubborn_"

"What you call stubborn, lad, I call tenacious. A true huntress in training always fulfills her duties!"

Silence came in many forms. The silence that suddenly hung in the air was almost suffocatingly thick.

"Ah, to be young again."

_When did he even - forget that, we're in trouble._ Ren decided to keep quiet further, in fear of making the situation even worse.

"Splendid to see you so motivated. I feared that a Delivery mission would bore you, but the kind of enthusiasm that drives you to the letters is simply astounding! If you prefer, we can make haste and depart this night already!"

Jaune smiled nervously. "Yes, uh, I mean, of course we want to go as soon as possible! We are so fired up we couldn't sleep!"

"Excellent! Gather your bags and we will see to it that we find this Torchwick chap!"

Jaune's smile and optimism faded instantaneously. "He's a wanted criminal, and we are just going to bring the letter to him?"

"Son, sometimes the best approach is the honest and honorful one. If we open that letter now, what would separate us from a lawbreaker like him? No, any questions about that letter you have, you will be asking the man himself! Meet me here in thirty minutes with your bags packed! STAY VIGILANT!"

Professor Port turned on his heels and left the dumbfounded team in the office. Ren tried to calm himself, but couldn't shake this feeling of unease that washed over him. His teammates didn't fare any better. Jaune and Pyrrha were somewhere between shock, anger, confusion and relief.

Only Nora was strangely motivated.

_This is going to be one hell of a ride._


	2. Watch and learn!

**Hello there, friends! **I've gotten generally favorable responses from you guys and, well, here we are again.

A few clarifications up front. Words in italic font are mainly for _emphasis_. **Bold** or UPPERCASE words show magnitude or volume, like someone shouting. _Sentences written completely in italic font are thoughts._ "Sentences with quotations marks are speech." 「Sentences with japanese brackets signify special properties: A robotic voice, use of speakers, a different language or anything else.」Although I haven't written stories in a very long time, these old habits just seem to stick. Just my style I guess. Horizontal lines represent a short timeskip or a new scene. Paragraphs with a switch in point of view always begin with the name of the character in question.

* * *

><p><strong>『 <strong>**Delivery 』**

**Chapter 2: Watch and learn!**

Roman Torchwick didn't have a good day. _Crime is a tough business to be in._ Cinder Fall ordered him to move all of the Dust he stole in the last few weeks. Despite him doing what he considered a _damn_ good job _(not like he expected anything else from himself anyways)_, she refused to tell him about any of her little plans.

If _he_ was running this operation instead of her, he'd let even the lowest henchman know what he was planning. Hell, he would probably broadcast his plans in public. What _fun_ is it to do everything secretly? What _fun_ is it to trick the police force when they don't even _know_ they're being outsmarted?

Cinder wants to destroy her opponents, but Torchwick played to _win_. And winning in style requires a loser. Roman has mostly avoided unnecessary killing in his career. Some people may enjoy watching people die, but in his opinion, blood was messy and hard to get out of your clothes. And now those _kids_ just went and killed off Tukson, embarassing him before his employer, and that Emerald girl stole his favorite lighter.

Overseeing random thugs move boxes was boring. Roman decided that not even those Faunus could fuck this up and gave up on overseeing their actions. "Lieutenant! You're in charge until I get back! Neo, you're coming with me." _Time to get some revenge on little Miss Sustrai. She asked for it._

* * *

><p>Ren sighed. He has done that noticeably more often than usual ever since this mission started. Normally, putting up with Jaune's attempts at romance and Nora's general behaviour was a challenge, but this isn't the usual <em>stupid<em>...

This is _advanced stupid_.

Even with all the data Professor Port got on a short notice from Professor Ozpin and the Vale Police Force, there was no point in trying to find Torchwick. They had the locations of his heists and found some minor safehouses by chance, but that man didn't leave any traces when he does business.

"I think we're not getting any further with this. How about we just deliver the other letters?"

"Oh come oooon! You're such a party pooper Ren!"

"Nora, he could be anywhere right now. He could be sitting on a beach in Vacuo selling Dust. He could be planting a bomb in Atlas, or even right here in Beacon and we wouldn't be able to fi-"

A sudden explosion interrupted Ren's train of thought. _Is this what I think it is?_

「 Attention all students. An explosion occurred, *bzzt*, near the guest dorms, *bzzt*, and a fire has been detected. Please evacuate at once. Attention all students. ... 」

The automated transmissions resounded through the halls of the academy.

Ren didn't even have to look at his team to know what they were going to do.

"Let's go!"

* * *

><p>As they approached the dormitories reserved for students visiting from other kingdoms, Ren saw another two people headed in the same direction as they were.<p>

"Hey Emerald, Mercury! It's me, Jaune!"

Emerald seemed surprisingly calm about her dorm literally exploding. If anything, she seemed annoyed to Ren.

She rolled her eyes and made her way up the stairs, JNPR following her closely.

"Do you guys think it's that Torchwick guy?"

"Well uh, Jaune, was it? Let's just say I had a feeling something would happen..."

"That piece of shit better not touch my collection!"

This was the first time Ren had seen Mercury show any kind of emotion that is not feigned interest or open indifference. He didn't care less for the spreading fire as he seemed to pick up more speed with every step.

As soon as the door to his dorm room came in sight, Mercury made a leap and kicked down the door. _Dramatic entrance, huh?_

"Oh gee, the kindergarten is here!"

* * *

><p>Roman was quite honestly not that surprised. Having any operation run without meddling teenagers has become quite rare in the last few weeks. Sometimes those meddlers just happened to be people he thought were on his side. <em>Reliable goons are hard to come by these days. You gotta do everything yourself.<em>

Neo glanced at the intruders and back at him.

"..."

"You heard the lady, I'm afraid this is where we have to part ways. Neo, do the thing."

As Neo did her little curtsey, Roman took the opportunity to jump out of the hole he blasted into the wall. The landing was a bit too rough for his tastes, but that tends to happen when he has to improvise. He dusted off his clothes as he watched Neo gently float towards him with her parasol. A quick brush through his hair, a few adjustments to his hat, and he was ready. The illusion up in the second floor shattered.

Roman struck a casual, yet elegant, pose.

"How the hell did he get down there?!"

_Oh Roman, you still got it._

"Watch and learn, kid. I'm gonna do that again, so pay attention!"

"Get back up here you bastard!" Mercury was seething with rage as his face went through 50 shades of red.

Roman chuckled as he pulled out a certain limited edition X-Ray and Vav comic.

"Looking for this, kid?"

"Oh no, you wouldn't da-"

Mercury's smug grin was nearly impossible to recognize in this rage-distorted visage. The criminal mastermind laughed out loud as he pulled out his lighter.

"No."

Roman enjoyed every single moment when he pretended to slip. He 'accidentally' lit the magazine on fire in the process of lighting his cigar.

"Oh man, I really didn't mean for that to happen, but you jinxed it, kid. You can have my second-favorite lighter instead. No hard feelings?" Torchwick flicked his lighter towards Mercury and casually strode towards the parking lot. _What a shame. I really liked that thing._

* * *

><p>Emerald barely averted her eyes when she saw the lighter flash red. As she braced for impact, a dark figure blotted out the light from the explosion.<p>

"After him, lads!"

_ So many surprises._ Professor Port was much faster than she had anticipated. He shielded the blast with his own body and it didn't leave a single scratch. The amount of Aura to pull of something like that was immense, to say the least.

Cinder was right in not trusting Torchwick. He isn't the type to follow orders or rules. If he knew about the plan, he would be running all of this on his own. Torchwick was about as dangerous as he was narcissistic.

As she absent-mindedly followed the little group heading for Port's safari truck, she went through the mental list of her belongings in the dorm room. All of her important stuff was still at the headquarters. Even Torchwick wasn't dumb enough to steal from Cinder. _Well, actually, he might do it if she wasn't his employer._

* * *

><p>Emerald barely made the jump onto the vehicle as Peter Port started driving. That boy in green handed the cute blond guy a plastic bag he found in the back-seat as the fat professor was in hot pursuit of Torchwick's Limousine.<p>

"Do we really have to do this?"

Jaune was desperately trying to fight his nausea, but he resigned himself to his fate as he saw Torchwick do a complete U-turn in the middle of an intersection. Port violently turned the steering wheel as Jaune dropped his spaghetti.

"Ew, gross, can't you do something about this?" Emerald pressed her back towards Mercury, away from Jaune. Her teammate didn't seem to notice as he was still grieving at the loss of some comic. _Childish ambitions._

She let her eyes wander for a moment. That red-haired girl was holding onto Jaune much too tightly for some reason, while the other girl just wouldn't stop giggling. _Simpletons_, she thought, before her eyes met his.

Time slowed down for a moment as she made eye-contact with Ren. The impression of a viper staring down a cobra flickered through her mind as she forced herself to smile. _He's a calculating type like me._ She hated him already.

"Why was Torchwick in your room?"

The gentle tone belied his nature. She shook her head and checked the situation briefly; luckily everyone else was too caught up in the hectic car chase to notice their conversation.

"I don't know." Her response sounded simple, but it was far from that. It was the perfect lie. A phrase she had practiced for years. Without breaking eye-contact, not even a slight waver in her voice, no sweating, no twitching her ears, no turning red, no hand movements. Her body, in unison with her voice, screamed at Ren.

She saw his eyes narrow and widen again as he broke eye-contact. The tension slipped off of her as she silently breathed out.

"What do you know about him then?"

"He is an arrogant prick." _Shit._ The words slipped out before she realized it herself. It was such a simple bait - and she took it. She prepared herself mentally as she scrambled to invent an excuse. She wasn't supposed to even _know_ about Torchwick.

However, before Ren could interrogate her to confirm his suspicions, the car chase came to an abrupt end.

* * *

><p>Roman felt good about himself. This hit was much more his style than Cinder and her extreme secrecy. He absolutely loved it when heists turn into car chases. Stuff like this wakes up the entire neighborhood, and it was magnificent.<p>

"Hey Neo, how much time do we have left?"

"..."

"Man, I just started enjoying this."

"..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's lose 'em."

Neo grinned at him after she threw a Dust grenade at the pursuing truck.

"Good work as always, Neo."

"..."

"What? No, you won't be getting ice cream for this."

"..." Neo pouted and turned around on her seat.

"There's no arguing with you, huh? Well I guess I'm in a generous mood today. Do the thing."

Neo beamed at him, barely eclipsed by the explosion behind them. Roman jerked the wheel and drove into one of Vale's many lesser known back alleys. He heard the screeching as the meddlers tried to brake, only to see an illusory obstacle shatter before their eyes.

Roman would have loved to watch their dumbfounded faces when they realized that they fell for the same trick twice, even with him telling them about it beforehand. Sadly, extending the cat-and-mouse chase would cut into his schedule, as he now had an appointment in a certain ice cream café to meet.

* * *

><p>Emerald inspected the damage in her dorm room. She and Mercury said their good byes to Port after the fruitless race through the town. Partly out of gratefulness for shielding her from the Dust-infused lighter bomb, partly out of spite for Roman, she slipped a map into his pocket, detailing the location of Roman's personal safehouse.<p>

_He's going to get in trouble for this with Cinder, and maybe she will finally dispose of him._ Most of the dust should have been cleared out by now, so there should be minimal risk to the operation. Even if some Dust was to be reclaimed, they had much more than enough for their plans. Emerald hated herself for it, but she had to admit that Roman was good at what he does. _Let's hope I can break any connections to him before that Ren guy becomes a problem._

As she _went_ through her closet, she noticed an empty drawer. All her underwear, bras, panties, stockings, gone.

_Very fucking mature, Torchdick._

* * *

><p><strong>Hey there.<strong> This concludes the second chapter of my story, and as you might have noticed, the plot is progressing at a very fast rate. I intend to finish this in 5 chapters, at somewhere around 10k words. I intended this to be a longer adventure thing, but university is much more stressful than anticipated and I will probably be writing short fiction and one-shots exclusively. If you have any suggestions on what you want to see, leave a review or pm me.

You might have noticed that I changed up my style of writing. More descriptions, less dialogue, changes in point of view. Let me know if you liked this better than the first chapter or the other way around, so I can continue to write stuff that's fun for you to read. This is all still very experimental to me, so critique is appreciated.

Another thing that you may have noticed is some fanons I am applying to the characters. Most extra fluff I use comes from /RWBYg/ on 4chan, and that currently includes Emerald idolizing Cinder and hating Roman's guts, Neo being mute and only Torchwick understanding her, her obsession with ice cream, and Roman's general awesomeness.

I will try to get the next chapter up sooner this time, so expect it by Tuesday if everything goes according to plan. See you in the next installment of Delivery!


	3. The Renpire Strikes Back!

**『 ****Delivery 』**

**Chapter 3: The Renpire Strikes Back!**

Ren only wished for the sweet reprieve of sleep, but his team was adamant about chasing Roman Torchwick through the night. His hopes crumbled when Professor Port handed him a map of White Fang hideouts that was in his pocket. It was the same document that Port got from Ozpin and the police, but there was a new location circled on the map. In big red letters next to it were the letters "RT", with an illustration of some kind of bird with teeth.

_There is no way I could have overlooked this._ Ren's eyes widened when he connected the dots. _Emerald._ Torchwick purposefully targeted her and Mercury, so that means that she was on their side for now. Satisfied with that, he decided to postpone any further investigation into the transfer student.

It was an abandoned warehouse in the Industrial district, formerly property of the Schnee Dust Company. The corporation moved to a newer and bigger location closer to the center of the city a few years ago. The SDC held a massive expansion campaign, trying to establish dominance over the Dust market even outside of Atlas.

_How ironic. They are moving Dust from one SDC warehouse to another._ Ren smirked.

He raised his head. "This is probably accurate."

"Splendid! We leave at once!"

* * *

><p>Nora was all smiles today. This mission was so <em>exciting.<em> The Professor was surprisingly straightforward on missions, considering the amount of times he gets side-tracked in his stories during class.

"Mister Arc, how do we hunt difficult prey?"

Jaune snapped back to reality at the mention of his name. He still looked visibly shaken from his motion sickness. _He is probably hungry now, too. _Nora chuckled. _He did lose his noodles on the ride._

"We have to think like our prey."

_Think like our prey..._

"Correct, Miss Nikos! Now what would our prey do right now?"

_Am I onto something here..._

"Whatever he was doing before, I suppose. He's probably back at his headquarters right now."

_Think like Torchwick..._

"Excellent, Mister Ren!"

"We're going to steal from him."

Four heads turned towards Nora.

"We are going to go to that warehouse, steal something important and make him talk to us!"

A mischievous grin found its way onto her face.

"Are you seri-"

"If we try to give him the letter, he will just run away! We are going to force him to come to us!"

"Magnificent! I am proud to call you my student, Miss Valkyrie!"

Her team was dumbfounded yet again.

The girl puffed her chest out. Her being praised by teachers was a rare occurrence. "I am Roman Torchwick!"

"Nora, I think you are taking this too literally."

"Silence, grunt! I am Torchwick and I do not tolerate indiscipline!"

* * *

><p>Ren was beyond caring at this point. This plan was just crazy enough to work out. As the most agile member of Team JNPR, his task was to infiltrate the warehouse and steal "something that looks important" while the others caused a distraction.<p>

Ren observed the situation from a rooftop next to the large building. The sound of wheels screeching marked the start of the operation. Professor Port drove his car straight towards the entrance, picking up speed with every second. The first grenades hit the main entrance, caving it in further with every shot. Port slammed the pedal to the metal and crashed into the gate.

Surprised by the sudden attack, the White Fang members tasked with keeping the gate hurried towards the wrecked jeep. Jaune leapt out of the car first, exhaling as he felt solid ground beneath his feet. As the first faunus arrived, he charged straight towards them with his shield raised. Knocking two enemies out of the way, he quickly found himself surrounded. Ren was surprised to see his leader smile. Just a few weeks ago, Jaune would have tried to surrender right there. Instead, he calmly parried the first attacks with his blade and charged the smallest opponent with his shield. Turning around immediately, he swung his sword in a vicious arc, keeping the distance he gained.

Jaune ducked under a mace flying towards his face and brought down the tip of his shield on the assailant's foot. He parried an overhead strike with his sword and smashed the handle into the thug's face. _The training with Pyrrha paid off, I see._ The amount of progress Jaune has made was astounding. With Pyrrha, Nora and Professor Port backing him up, the first squad of guards never stood a chance. Sirens went off inside the building and hostiles came running from every corner.

_This should be enough of a distraction._ Ren flicked his wrists and pulled out StormFlower from his sleeves. Nobody seemed to take notice of him shattering the glass with bullets with the chaos at the gate. _Perfect,_ he thought, as he entered the women's bathroom.

* * *

><p>Roman Torchwick's mood went from one extreme to another. He just completed a successful heist and got his sweet revenge on those brats. Everything was fine and dandy when they stole the ice cream truck on their way back. Neo relished her Politan, while Roman was more an Orange Sorbet kind of man. They were laughing as they drove the van past a few playgrounds and kindergartens, playing the iconic ice-cream music as loud as they could. Watching crying kids try and run after the truck was <em>hilarious.<em> When he came back to the safehouse, he just wanted to relax and bask in his own glory.

The White Fang worked together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Team JNPR attacked. To be honest, he couldn't care less, but he was on Cinder's payroll after all. _Annoying little shits._

"Sir, what do we do?"

"The same as usual, Perry. Wipe them out. Neo, we're going."

"...?"

"No, I don't care if you haven't finished your ice cream yet. Put it in the fridge."

"...!"

"I don't want to do this either, but we have a job to do. Do you want to sit in the corner again?"

"..."

"Well, hurry up then."

* * *

><p>Ren snuck out of the bathroom as quickly as he could. The second floor mostly contained offices and archives. He looked through the hallways and took out the few office workers that weren't sent to defend the gate. Since they weren't fighters, chasing them down was almost laughably easy. One of them pointed him towards Roman's room after being slapped a few times.<p>

It was almost impossible to miss. The big wooden door with intricate carvings stood out from the generic offices like a sore thumb. A crude drawing of a bowler hat and an ice cream cone was attached to it with duct tape. Ren whispered a "sorry" before he shot the lock and kicked in the door.

The room was full with expensive looking wooden furniture. A couch, a big television screen, high end sound system, Torchwick had it all. _Living the life, huh. _A door towards the back led to a room with beds and a giant closet, but what really caught Ren's eye was a glass case. Inside the cabinet was a single bowler hat.

_Seriously?_

* * *

><p>Jaune felt truly proud of himself for the first time on a mission. Compared to Pyrrha, these thugs moved in slow motion. He rolled underneath another attack and spun around, letting Crocea Mors bite into his opponent's ankle. The man screamed and fell, buying him some time to rest. Pyrrha and Nora were wreaking havoc, but even they couldn't compare to Port.<p>

He didn't fire his Blunderbaxe even once, content with hacking away at everything in the vicinity. Jaune shuddered when he saw his Professor cleanly chop a shield in half that looked twice as heavy as his own. The Huntsman was a force of nature, and he didn't mean that in a good way.

Even with the occasional higher-ranking White Fang officer appearing, the group wasn't being pushed back just yet, until two familiar figures appeared.

* * *

><p>Roman's interest was piqued. Although he didn't know exactly how they found this base, he had his suspicions. Still, pulling off a full frontal attack like this took guts.<p>

"Welcome to the party, everyone!"

Torchwick kept his eyes on the portly Huntsman. He had no delusions about the White Fang members. It was clear that the only one capable of stopping that man was himself. Port made his way to Torchwick with brute force alone.

"Hello there, laddie. You're going to stand still there for a bit, so that the girl", Port said, while gesturing towards the girl in pink, "can deliver her _message_ to you."

Roman couldn't make sense of the Professor's words. He couldn't recall all the faces of his victims, but it was more than likely that she held some kind of grudge against him. _That hammer looks like it's very heavy._

Without replying, he immediately thrusted his Melodic Cudgel towards Port's face. Criminals don't give a damn about fair fights and dueling manners. The only thing that was important is the snide remark you make after you have your opponent lying at your feet. And Roman considered himself _very_ good at hurting someone's feelings.

The cane hit it's mark perfectly and Torchwick pulled the trigger. Most Huntsmen could have dodged or diverted that follow-up attack, but not Port. He took the shot and somehow came out unscathed. Surprised by his opponent's toughness, Roman had to back up a few steps after Port started swinging at him wildly.

The criminal could tell that blocking would be a bad idea. Instead, he focused on diverting and dodging attacks. When the opportunity presented itself, he smacked Port with his cane or punched him with his off-hand, but the hits had little to no effect. Offense was the least of Torchwick's concerns right now.

_Something is fishy._ He could tell that Port wasn't trying to kill him. The flurry of blows they exchanged may look dangerous to lesser trained eyes, but neither of them was fighting seriously. _One, two, three, four._ Roman was tempted to slap himself. This was the oldest trick in the history of thievery.

"Hey, Perry, you want to take this one?"

"You're going nowhere laddie!"

Port grunted, his mustache twitching from the exertion, as he lifted his Blunderbaxe with both hands. Roman instantly knew that Port was merely trying to keep him busy. The axe came down in a fast, but predictable arc. Roman simply stepped back, smirking. Then he heard Port pull the trigger.

The Blunderbaxe shot knocked a few fighters off their feet behind Port, but more importantly, the recoil sent the axe forward at a blinding speed. In an instant, the overhead swing became a thrust with the flat top side of the axe. The Professor let go with his left hand and lunged forward, extending its range by another few steps. Roman barely managed to put his Melodic Cudgel between his face and the thrust, but it still sent him flying. He rolled backwards onto his feet, but found himself staring down the barrel of the Blunderbaxe.

At first glance, the design of the axe makes the gun impractical to use and shoot, as the blades prevented the user from putting the gun onto his shoulder for aiming and reducing recoil. Port however needed none of those. He simply held the top of his axe with his right hand, pulling the trigger with his left. His strength and toughness allowed him to withstand the recoil one-handed, while the need for aim was rendered obsolete by the short range and wide spread of the shot.

Torchwick immediately jumped backwards diagonally to reduce the impact and braced his Aura. He was only grazed lightly by the blast, but it still hurt like hell. Several steel crates and containers were ripped to shreds near the spot he was standing in just seconds ago. The combination of the surprise thrust and the annihilating blast would have destroyed any other opponent.

"Remarkable! This is the first time in a while that I could unleash everything!"

"Sorry to disappoint you, old man, but I've got another appointment to keep."

Roman knew he couldn't afford to draw out this fight any longer. He shot a few rounds at Port and rolled to the side simutaneously.

"End of the line."

He grinned as he grabbed a handful of yellow dust crystals and flung them towards the blonde boy fighting Neopolitan. He was trying to be courageous by fighting the second in command of the enemy forces, but it was obvious that he was the weakest link. All his swings ended up shattering illusions and mirages, while Neo danced around him. She kept smacking him onto his head with her umbrella, giggling uncontrollably. Roman shouted in excitement, lining up his shot with the crystals.

Port was too late. He focused his Aura in his feet as he made the leap, but that left very little Aura to defend himself with. The explosion of the lightning Dust left him paralyzed. Roman turned around and quickly made his way to his room while the fight continued to shift in favor of the White Fang, with the biggest threat eliminated.

_Checkmate, old man._

* * *

><p>Ren thoroughly checked the glass case once again. Disarming all the traps took much longer than he anticipated. There were complex electrical safeguards next to simple wire-based booby traps. He slowly opened the lid and hoped that he didn't overlook any other safety measures. The sudden sound of footsteps made him turn around.<p>

"You think you're clever, kid?"

StormFlower slid out of his sleeves into his hands. He pointed one of his guns at the bowler hat inside the opened casing.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey there friends.<strong> In this chapter and probably the next one too, we will get a little more focus on Ren and Torchwick. I tried my hand on a little bit of action, and since this a first for me, tell me if you liked it or not.  
>I would have loved to describe Team JNPR being awesome, but I have limited space to work with in those 5 chapters, and Port needs more love in general.<br>Please don't kill me for the massive cliffhanger. The final 2 chapters are going to be worth it - I promise!  
>Thanks for the continued support!<p> 


	4. Twists And Turns

**Hello again, friends.** We have now comfortably broken the 1k viewer mark as our story reaches the midway point. Thanks to the 32 people that followed this or put this as their favorite, and thanks to the 9 people that left a review for me. Another short shoutout to that one guy from New Zealand that opened the story like 10 times. Talk about dedication.

* * *

><p><strong>『 <strong>**Delivery 』**

**Chapter 4: Twists And Turns.**

Ren was staring down the most notorious criminal in all of Vale, the only thing preventing a full-blown fight being his gun pointed towards a midnight black bowler hat. If the young Huntsman was honest, he couldn't sense any difference between the hat on the pedestal and those in the closet or on Torchwick's head. Black, one red strip, no traces of Dust. Yet it stopped Torchwick dead in his tracks.

"Look, kid, we both know you're not gonna shoot."

"We also know that you're not gonna move."

"So how about you put your gun down and I let you guys go? Sound fair?"

Ren squinted his eyes. _Torchwick is stalling for time._ He took a quick look through the room and reassessed his situation. Roman had his hands raised with his cane casually leaning on his right shoulder. Despite the high-pressure situation, he was completely free of tension. A relaxed body is a fast body. His eyes were watching Ren's every move, ready to react at any time. The burn marks on his coat meant that he already fought Port and somehow beat him.

Judging from the noise, the fighting down below still hasn't ceased. Given that Roman made it past the Professor, it was only a matter of time until the rest of the team were overrun by the White Fang. Negotiating for his friends' lives for a hat had very low chances of success. Torchwick stood in the doorway and blocked the only escape path. The only option left was to trust his team and proceed according to plan.

And the plan was to steal that damn hat.

Ren raised his right hand and pointed StormFlower at the closet.

_The basics of confrontations._

Bullets ripped through the hinges. Ren didn't break eye-contact even once when he kicked the remains of the closet door across the room.

_Assume a position of power._

A cocky smirk appeared on his face as he turned his head towards the collection of hats. They were neatly sorted, each with their own small shelf and a tag.

"This looks expensive. Is that what you spent all that stolen money on, or did you steal these too?"

Ren chuckled.

_Assert dominance._

"Brown And Sons, hand-made, needle felt, reinforced hem", he read out aloud as he littered the hat with holes. "What a shame."

_Throw off your opposition._

"Stop, you little-"

_Abuse their mistakes._

The moment Torchwick lost his cool was the moment Ren struck. Two streams of bullets cut off Roman's path towards the hat in the glass box. Pressing his advantage, he spun around, piercing two hats with the blades on his StormFlower, twisting his body to send them flying towards his opponent. One landed on the Melodic Cudgel, preventing return fire, and the other flew towards the eyes, denying vision.

_Praying Mantis._

In an instant, Ren closed the gap. His right blade moved the tip of the cane away from his body. His left hand came in from below, twisting up the Melodic Cudgel like a snake. Ren pulled back his left arm, intent on taking off Torchwick's wrist with the backside of his blade.

* * *

><p>Roman was in a bad spot. Sensing the imminent danger, Torchwick immediately let go of his weapon. He found himself weaponless, breathless and hatless. He flung a hook with his left to create space and turned tail. A perfectly honorable tactic. A master thief prided himself on his stealth and speed, after all.<p>

If you just beat down everyone between you and your loot, you aren't a thief, but a robber. Due to the limited time for his recent jobs, he had to resort to using thugs in a simple armed robbery, a plan that can be put into shambles by a single girl with a scythe. Few people have ever understood the beauty of a meticulously planned heist and a perfectly executed getaway. Running away is a work of art.

His tactical retreat right now lacked in elegance, but as long as his elegant face had no bullet holes, that would suffice. As he turned around behind the doorway, he was relieved and disappointed at the same time that he was in fact not being chased.

As much as he hated to admit it, without Melodic Cudgel, he was no match for the intruder. His prized hat was being stolen from right under his nose, but there was nothing he could do about that. He started walking back down with a brisk pace.

Torchwick furrowed his brow as he contemplated today's events. That guy with the knife-guns didn't try to chase after him, so they aren't trying to kill or capture him. The attack on the warehouse also had no backup, so this was very likely to be unrelated to his business with the White Fang. An act of revenge for blowing up Mercury and Cinder was a far-fetched motive, too. Their objective was clearly the hat as a bargaining tool, but he had no idea what they would want to negotiate for, and that was unnerving.

The only thing that came to mind was Port. He said the girl with the hammer had a "message" for him, and he would honestly prefer to get his hat back without finding out about this "message".

* * *

><p>Emerald nearly dropped her binoculars in disbelief. The boy she met earlier today swiped the hat before she could do it. <em>Impressive.<em> This night was getting more interesting by the minute. Mercury broke down crying when he found out that the burned magazine was sold out, and Ren apparently outsmarted the self-confessed Master Thief.

_We all know who the real Master Thief is._ She pulled out a few vials with red Dust. Her habit of coming up with contingency plans has proven useful many times. Torchwick scoffed at any plan beyond Plan A, convinced that his plans could never fail. The few times where his plans actually didn't go too well, his penchant for improvisation got him out of sticky situations. _Sloppy work is what I'd call that._

The commotion near the gate seemed to be related to Ren's coup. She silently moved into the building using the same window Ren used to enter. _Too easy._

* * *

><p>Pyrrha was ready to stand by Jaune's side in any battle, follow any of his orders. Despite his tremendous improvement, he was still not an outstanding combatant like the rest of Team JNPR. However, he made up for it with quick thinking and superb strategies. This was the very first time the red-haired Huntress thought about going against his orders in battle.<p>

"Don't worry about me, this is for the best!"

"Jaune, you can't do this!"

"You're going to have to trust me, as I trust you guys."

Her objections did nothing to sway his mind. Jaune summoned the entire remainder of his Aura and charged into the enemy lines. His reckless attack tore through the frontline and cut a swath through the White Fang thugs.

"You heard him, Pyrrha." Nora walked backwards, carrying the paralyzed Professor on her shoulder, firing one grenade after another.

Pyrrha shook her head and steeled her resolve. She closed her eyes and concentrated. The rectangular metal gates were ripped off when they crashed into them with the car earlier. The doors began to float and flew shut at the entrance once again, creating a barricade. A magnetized blockade like this would hold long enough for Pyrrha, Nora and Port to escape as Jaune kept fighting inside.

It felt wrong, leaving him to hold them off while they fled the scene. This decision was not an easy one to make, but Jaune didn't hesitate one bit, when it was him that sacrificed himself. The only thing left was to carry on and proceed with the plan. She tapped her blinking scroll.

"I'm done." - Lie Ren.

* * *

><p>Emerald cursed under her breath. She was stuck in a corner of a room, hidden behind boxes full of Dust.<p>

For some reason, the fighting stopped almost immediately and the majority of Team JNPR escaped. She already knew they were going to try to flee, since Ren successfully stole the hat. What she didn't anticipate was Jaune doing something really, _really__ stupid._ Letting herself be seen by the White Fang was something she could not afford, especially if she was in the process of getting her revenge for Roman's revenge on her.

With seemingly every hallway and every room filling up with White Fang, Emerald had few choices in hiding spots. She was forced to go where none of the office workers and crate lifters worked, and incidentally, that was the prison area in the first floor. There were no immediate windows or exits, so her escape would have to wait. Just as she thought it couldn't get worse, a masked faunus entered the room, dragging a blond boy behind him.

"Perry, lock him up until I figure out what to do."

"Yes, sir."

Perry adjusted his glasses and tossed Jaune into the room, locking the door behind him.

"Ow! Wait, wait up! Let me out of here!"

_Pathetic._ This was truly not Emerald's day. _In this small room, he's going to find me sooner or later._

She cleared her throat loudly. "You need some help with that door?"

"Emerald!"

"I'm here to help."

Emerald faked a smile and hated herself for it. She had to play the fellow student to maintain her cover at Beacon. Getting out without him noticing was impossible. The option of silencing him _permanently_ seemed enticing, but that would bring a slew of other problems. Questions would come up. Torchwick was bound to find out about her little prank very soon, and if word got out about their little feud, the consequences would not be fun for either of them.

She sighed as she pulled out her favorite hairpin, Spare Key. Within seconds, the door was unlocked. Under her directions, the unlikely duo recovered Crocea Mors and began to make their way out of the warehouse.

* * *

><p>Roman tried to suppress his laughter. Watching Emerald try to sneak out with the clumsy kid was hilarious.<p>

Just moments ago, he was bursting with anger. The self-proclaimed Queen of Thieves had laced his cigars with explosive Fire Dust. It was a classic prank, flawlessly executed, and he hated it. All of that was forgotten when Emerald presented him a clear path to his stolen bowler hat. Jaune was going to regroup with his Team, and tracing him was about as easy as it gets. Even with Emerald trying to cover up after him, he left so many traces, it was unbelievable.

A quick Scroll message to the White Fang members told them to go about their business as usual.

"Ignore the fleeing idiot. Oh, and leave the guy with the shield alone." It was rare for Roman to extend a helping hand, but he felt generous today. That, of course, did not mean that he wouldn't get some revenge on Emerald once all this was over.

"Neo, we're going after them."

"...!"

"I already said I'm sorry our room got damaged."

"..."

"No, I totally beat the shit out of him."

"..."

"My cane lying around means I fucked him up with my bare hands."

"...~"

"Feeling sassy today, huh? Now shut up and get in the van."

"...?"

"Of course there is ice cream in the ice cream truck. We wouldn't want to appear suspicious, would we."

* * *

><p><strong>Hi there friends.<strong> The next chapter is going to mark the conclusion of this story. This entire thing ended up being much more action-heavy than I anticipated, which means I am absolute shit at planning out my stories properly. Reading up on the older chapters makes me question a lot of my decisions, so there is definitely room to improve. What was set to be a merry adventure turned out to be something entirely different. Also I found out midway that I like the idea of shipping Ren and Emerald. You wouldn't think that ships happen spontaneously, right?

As always, I'd appreciate reviews, favs and follows to inflate my ego. Tell me what was shit and what not so I can hopefully fix that in my next stories.


	5. Keikaku Doori

**『 ****Delivery 』**

**Chapter 5: Keikaku Doori**

Ren slid his hands across the smooth bowler hat. It felt and looked only slightly different from the other hats in Torchwick's collection. It was absurd to think that they went this far for an accessory, losing Jaune to the White Fang in the process. He swept his bangs aside and looked up at the night sky. The situation wasn't too bad, in his opinion. As long as the hat held the same relative value to Torchwick as Jaune to them, the criminal wouldn't hurt their leader.

Pyrrha and Nora, however, seemed... unstable after the incident. With Nora, that was nothing too surprising, but seeing Pyrrha this depressed was a first for Ren. Professor Port was still lying in the backseat, unable to move his limbs more than a few inches after the Lightning Dust explosion. The effect should wear off in a few hours, but having the only full-fledged Huntsman paralyzed was devastaging for the Team's morale.

Lost in planning their next moves, Ren overlooked the blinking display on his scroll. Pyrrha and Nora tackled his back nearly immediately, resting their heads on his shoulder in an attempt to grab at his scroll. He attached the hat to his hip and propped up his hands upon his knees.

"Girls."

His quiet, yet commanding voice caused Pyrrha to blush and withdraw, while Nora simply embraced him tighter. He tapped the small envelope icon that showed an unread message from Jaune Arc.

"heyyyy (^0^)/*･゜ﾟ･*"

Ren, Nora and Pyrrha stared at the floating message for a moment.

"Who are you and why do you have Jaune's scroll? -Lie Ren."

"its me bby (^W^)7"

An image popped up shortly after that. Emerald was excitedly waving into the camera with her arm slung around Jaune's neck. While the green-haired girl was all smiles, Jaune had a rather mortified look on his face. His teammates immediately began cheering upon seeing Jaune in safety. Pyrrha squealed in delight, reaching tones Ren has only ever heard of Ruby when she saw fresh Strawberry Cookies. He shook his head and focused on his scroll again, but before he could answer, he received another message from the unlikely duo.

"dw, im omw 2u~ (*≧▽≦)"

Ren caught himself smiling as he typed a response. He was happy to see Jaune returning safely, but ignored the warm feeling spreading in his chest when he saw Emerald Sustrai. The thought that she wasn't working with Torchwick was oddly comforting. _Maybe I can finally let these nagging suspicions go_. His index hovered over the _Send_ button for a moment, but he decided to redo his message instead. A few quick taps later, he stashed away his scroll, an amused smile on his face.

"cu l8r ;) -Lie Ren"

* * *

><p>Emerald had to practically drag Jaune all the way to his team's location. Whatever the White Fang did to him, it left him limping. The easily excitable red-head was the first one to spot her arrival.<p>

With a sigh of relief, she let go of Jaune's arm around her shoulder. Her temporary companion lost his balance and fell to the ground with a groan of agony. With this, most of Ren's suspicions against her should be cleared. The queen of thieves closed her eyes and tried to relax after the day's increasingly absurd string of events.

The humming engine of Professor Port came closer and stopped, three pairs of feet moving towards the _luggage_ she'd carried to here. She opened her eyes and put on her best casual smile. The red-haired girl didn't even look at her face and cradled Jaune's head in her arms while Nora was yelling something incomprehensible. Ren followed the excited girls from a safe distance and bowed a little when he met her eyes.

"Thank you for your help, Emerald."

Emerald hastily returned the gesture, a genuine smile on her face. Being praised was a rare occurrence for her when working with the likes of Cinder and Torchwick.

"No problem, Ren. That's what _friends_ are for." The girl paused a little before speaking up to the entire Team JNPR. "I'll go back to Beacon and report this mess."

Ren kept smiling at her. "That would be nice. You've done more than enough for us already. Stay safe from this mess, if you can."

A giggle escaped her lips. _How cute._ "Don't you worry about me. See you tomorrow."

Emerald calmly strode away from the Team, never looking back. She started running as she turned around a corner, smiling at her own genius, happy about being able to keep up her innocent schoolgirl appearance in front of the ever perceptive Lie Ren. Strangely enough, she found herself looking forward to tomorrow's classes and their next encounter.

* * *

><p>Nora hugged Jaune tightly, oblivious to his pained whimpers beside her ear. However, their moment of reunion ended very abruptly when she heard the sounds of a car approaching. Her hands shot to Magnhild and her feet moved into a low stance. A rather colorful truck slid around a corner at a breakneck speed and drove towards her and the Team, emanating a very familiar tune. Someone had somehow found their location, and she didn't like it.<p>

Normal trucks used in frontal assault attacks accelerated in a straight line, but this incoming truck was behaving in a very peculiar manner. Loud, cheery music drowned out the screeching wheels of the van's seemingly random swerves and curves. Nora fired a few grenades at the carriage, missing every shot due to the truck's erratic and unpredictable course. As the ice cream truck came closer, she stopped trying to slow down the truck with gunfire, hesitantly lowering her weapon. Nora took a few steps closer and squinted. She nearly dropped Magnhild when she saw the face behind the steering wheel.

* * *

><p>"..."<p>

Neo was pouting inside the truck, tears welling up in her eyes. She was finally having some fun for once, and Roman decided to be a dick about it again. It was always the same, _Neo do this_,_ Neo do that_, but nobody ever cared about how _she_ felt.

"You're making this much harder than it has to be."

"...!"

"Young lady, let go of the wheel, now!"

"..., ...!"

"Just because we are criminals, that doesn't mean we should drive without licenses!"

Despite Neo's feet relentlessly stomping his face, Torchwick somehow managed reach over and pull on the steering wheel. The van nearly tipped over, turning to narrowly avoid a crash with a tree.

"I'll have you know that those licenses exist for a reason!"

"...!"

"When all this is over, you are SO grounded."

_Why does it always have to be SO UNFAIR?_

* * *

><p>Nora knew that she was crazy by everyone else's standards sometimes, but she would have never done anything like this.<p>

Neo and Torchwick came into sight, and what she saw scared her. The contest over the wheel devolved into a slapping fight, with both Roman and Neo completely neglecting their driving. The wheel spun freely and the truck began to turn in a wide arc, curving away from Team JNPR.

The four of them flinched simultaneously when the ice cream truck diagonally collided with a parked car, resulting in multiple full rotations in the air before hitting the ground again. The ice cream truck bounced a few times and came to a halt while leaning sideways on another car.

Even after the crash, the voices, or rather, Roman's voice, didn't stop arguing. A few small explosions blasted the truck's door into the air, revealing Torchwick emerging from the smouldering mess, angrily muttering something about an "ice cream ban" to the offended little girl that followed him.

* * *

><p>Roman Torchwick dusted himself off and walked up to the stupefied Team JNPR, a little swing in his steps, a little spice in his smile, a little mischief in his eyes. The horrific accident all but forgotten, Neo returned to his side. He snapped his fingers on his left hand rhythmically, twirling his cane with the other hand, dancing to the beat of his own greatness.<p>

"I see you people have rubbed the magic hat, huh? Allow me to introduce myself," he said with a haughty voice, "I am the mystical genie of the bowler hat."

After a quick spin on his heels, the master thief lifted his own less-than-magical hat and bowed.

"Since I am quite inexperienced in the wish fulfillment department, I shall offer you one of two choices."

He smirked and leaned on his cane, crossing his legs in an over exaggerated movement.

"_I wish I could keep that hat_, or alternatively, _I wish I didn't have bullet holes in my chest_. The choice is aaaaall yours."

Torchwick high-fived himself internally when he saw the students' jaws drop. _Roman, you still got it._

Ren was the first one to recover and the first one to attack. _Shoot first, ask later, huh?_ Roman watched the bullets soar past him, aimed at a target just a little bit to his right. The illusion fractured, the pieces quickly reforming into more copies that were quickly dispatched by the meddling kids. Waves upon waves of fake Torchwicks supported Neo in their onslaught on the kids while Torchwick slowly made his way between the pesky teenagers. Neo's rendition of him had improved considerably, although Roman thought that their orange hair could be a tad shinier.

"Bullet holes it is," Roman whispered, swinging his weapon like a bat at the back of the spartan girl's head, in an attempt to incapacitate the most potent combatant right away. She narrowly ducked under the blow and rolled away from Torchwick. A furious Jaune decided to tackle Roman from the side, earning himself a chuckle from the experienced villain. He spun the Melodic Cudgel around and caught the rim of Jaune's shield with the rounded end of his cane, pulling it down to create an opening. He laughed like a maniac, ramming his fingers into the blond boy's eyes. As his assailant staggered backwards, Torchwick caught his foot with his cane and pulled Jaune right between him and Pyrrha, a veritable human shield. The familiar tingle on his skin was his cue to slip away to the side as refractions in the air created a soundlessly laughing copy of him.

* * *

><p>Ren stopped his swing before hitting another obvious copy and took a moment to observe the situation. Neo kept trying to taunt him and Nora into committing to an attack while Torchwick employed sneaky hit-and-run tactics on Jaune and Pyrrha with the illusory feints. Another cane shattered upon contact with Magnhild and Ren dealt with two more illusions. <em>This is going nowhere.<em>

"Nora."

Ren's hushed voice was barely audible to his partner, but their coordination was perfect. Nora began attacking recklessly, covering for Ren, while he helped the others take out the weaker combatant first. Multiple Neopolitan's dashed, but Nora smashed her hammer into the ground, sending splinters everywhere around her, shattering the illusions.

"Fooound yooou~" Nora cooed.

_She may be strange at times, but she's reliable when it counts. _Ren opened fire at the many Torchwicks. Jaune was in a bad shape, but Pyrrha was fighting fiercely enough for the two of them. As they eliminated copy after copy, the real Torchwick's location became increasingly easy to discern. Pyrrha and Jaune began pelting him with blows, forcing him to retreat backwards slowly. The number of illusions decreased over time, leading Ren to the assumption that Neopolitan's Aura must be running low.

Just as Ren began to think they had the upper hand, he heard a sickening crack behind him. The one weakness in his move to help with Torchwick was leaving Nora to fight Neo. Her thoughtless style of attacking would get her in trouble against the small elite fighter eventually. The flash of pain in his chest was followed up by a feeling of numbness. _Nora trusted me, and I let her fight Neo alone._ He started to turn towards Neo when he heard his leader's voice.

"Ren, go for Torchwick. You beat him once, do it again."

A smile found its way on Ren's face when Jaune and Pyrrha started holding off Neo, leaving Roman and him to themselves.

"Listen, we just want to talk."

"No, you listen, kiddo. You touch my hat, you're not walking out of this alive." The malicious spite in Roman's voice was mismatched with the casual grin on his face.

"Fair enough."

Ren charged and sunk his blade into Torchwick's shoulder, only to see the shattered pieces of the illusion, just as he anticipated. He turned as fast as he could and blocked the overhead swing from behind his back. His victorious smirk disappeared when Melodic Cudgel burst into a million tiny, triangular pieces. A blinding pain knocked him off-balance as the projectile exploded in his back.

The boy in green forced himself to grin. "At least this'll be more interesting than last time, now that you can rely on your partner there."

As soon as he finished the sentence, he charged. Torchwick was still trying to return a snappy remark, a golden opportunity. Ren furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the criminal's figure flicker before dashing backwards. _There's only one place he can be._ He swung his right arm in violent hook, only to move one step short of Torchwick. Using the momentum, he turned on his heels to face another Torchwick behind him. Ren smiled as he retracted his right arm, twisting his body further to elbow the original Torchwick that was now behind him.

The unexpected impact knocked the wind out of Roman's lungs. "You're not the only one that can do feints."

"Exactly. I was never much of a fighter, you know." The cold-blooded chuckle sent a shiver down Ren's spine. He turned to see the villain's cane extend to reveal a grappling hook, attached to the hat on his hip.

Ren shook himself to rid him of the shudder. _It feels so good to have plans come together._ He smiled at his adversary. "I know, right?"

A pink grenade erupted in Torchwick's chest. Ren grabbed hold of the hat in mid-air and pointed StormFlower at it. He could hear Nora cheering in the background.

"Your Aura is now depleted and I still have the hat. This is game over."

"Sorry to disappoint you, kid. You're just not in my league."

Roman casually lifted his cane and fired at the hat in Ren's hands. The blast caught him off-guard and knocked him back a few meters. He was shocked to see his opponent raise a hat up into the air.

"Plebeians like you will never be able to tell the difference between good and _great_ hats."

* * *

><p>The drive back to Beacon was one of defeat and shame. Four Huntsmen and Huntresses in training had been defeated by only two petty criminals. Roman let them leave alive after getting back his hat, claiming that "victory is nothing without losers to look down upon". With Jaune, Ren and Nora heavily wounded, Pyrrha couldn't even think of chasing after Torchwick and his trickster of a companion. Jaune was half unconscious, leaning his head on Pyrrha's shoulder. The usual upbeat Nora was sitting in Ren's lap, sobbing lightly.<p>

"Nora, what's wrong?"

"I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, I couldn't deliver the letter."

Ren wrapped his arms around his partner and smiled reassuringly.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

* * *

><p>Torchwick has had a splendid day, full of fun and games. The minor things like his hideout being found, his room getting wrecked and his car being reduced to rubble didn't faze him in the slightest.<p>

"..."

"No, Neo, getting hit there was totally planned. You gotta get their hopes up before you crush them."

"...?"

"I could never be mad at you. I wasn't _really_ going to ground you and ban you from ice cream."

"...!"

"Actually, you know what? We can steal you that new ice cream truck tomorrow if you want. White Fang's nearly done with logistics."

Neo started smiling. The happiness in her face lit up the dark back alley brighter than the Sun ever could. Satisfied with himself, he took off his right glove. He proceeded to press his hand onto the smooth felt of the bowler hat, when he felt something on top of his hair. Puzzled, he took off his headwear and peeked inside to find a white envelope.

The senders were Jaune Arc, Nora Valkyrie, Pyrrha Nikos and... Lie Ren. _Those meddling kids, huh..._

He opened it and found a smaller, pink colored envelope with hearts drawn all over it. His name was written in bright pastel colors across the letter.

"Oh, Neo, you shouldn't have-"

"...!"

"Okay, okay, I'll open it, don't worry."

Inside of the letter was a piece of paper with a drawing of an ice cream cone and a bowler hat, enclosed by a huge red heart.

"...!"

Roman wiped tears from the corner of his eyes.

"I-I can't believe you actually remembered my birthday. Thanks, Neo."

Neo started laughing, and it had him marvel at her as if it was their first meeting all over again. He lifted the little girl up and pulled her into a tight hug. She may not be very expressive and bratty at times, but she was _his _little brat after all. He would do anything to make her happy, even if it meant getting his hands dirty.

And he wouldn't pass up listening to her laughter for anything in the world.

* * *

><p>Back in Team JNPR's dorm, the four aspiring Huntsmen and Huntresses could finally rest their heads after an extraordinary adventure. After the paralysis wore off, Professor Port commended them for their tenacity and ingenuity in unexpected situations and very quickly left for his own comfortable bed, a sentiment that everyone else could relate to.<p>

"That was one hell of a ride, guys."

"You were brave today, Jaune."

"Thanks, Pyrrha. That means a lot to me. Ren did most of the work, though."

"I couldn't have done that without you guys."

"Oh stop it, you. I got captured like an idiot while you beat Torchwick in a duel! Nora, what do you think?"

A short-lived silence fell upon their dorm room, only disturbed by Nora rummaging in a box.

"So, who's this Summer Rose and where do I deliver this to?"

* * *

><p><strong>Hello there friends. <strong>First of all, I would like to apologize for the long wait on this last chapter, hopefully somewhat compensated by the 50% increase in length. I really wanted to get this right, and I'm still not sure if I couldn't have done a better job. This is still easily the most ridiculous chapter I have written, and I personally like it much more than some of the previous chapters in this story.

Over the course of this story, I have learned a lot about writing, and specifically, planning out stories so you don't fuck up your own storylines and have to improvise new happenings. I have identified many mistakes throughout this thing, but additional Reviews would be greatly appreciated.

This story is now completed without any planned additions, unless I get demands for side-stories or continuations or something. In my further plans, I will write a few short one-shots of questionable quality, interspersed with works with more effort put in. For the time being, check out my profile for the first chapter of **『 Flourish**** 』**, a light-hearted story about the childhood of Weiss and my first real attempt at writing OC's.

For the people that don't like my cutesy slice of life stuff and prefer my ridiculous, humorous stuff, my next bigger project will be a longer story about Torchwick and his past. Planned after that is a short excursion into the land of shipping and romance, very likely to be similarly humorous romantic comedies.

For some reason, FanFiction doesn't let you find my name if you search for it, so either put me as one of your favorite authors or keep an eye out for the fancy japanese double brackets in my story titles if you want to read more of my works.

Thank you for sticking with this story until the end. It's been a wild ride.


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